March 15, 2020
Pages 653
Whole Number 38
THe REAL FACTS ABOUT APPOMATTOX
(Editor's Note: The following from the pen of an anonymous author is quoted. for the amusement of our Southern branches of the Sparks family--those who descend from the Northern branches, PLEASE DO NOT READ.)
After chasing the Union Army all over the map, even as far north as Gettysburg way up in Pennsylvania, the Confederates and General Lee were very, very tired. The Southern Army, camped out at Appomattox, was preparing to wipe out the Yankees the next morning, march victoriously into Washington and raise the Stars and Bars over the White House.
General Lee was resting at the Court House before mapping out the strategy for this final campaign. Into the Court House walked General Grant, ready to surrender. Grant was such an inconspicuous looking man that Lee took him to be his orderly. Naturally, Lee gave Grant his sword to polish. Grant, very surprised, took Lee's sword and actually thought that Lee had surrendered. He even thanked Lee for surrendering and General Lee, being a true Southern gentleman, couldn't go back on his word.